A Breakdown of Man vs Canada Goose

Anyone who lives in Canada knows how frisky a Canadian goose can be. At certain times of the year (I’m assuming mating season) they are just ready to go. And for whatever reason, they really seem to like to hang out near crowded office buildings.

I work in an area with one large business building beside the other and geese frequently hang out in packs right in front of the building. Unlike most birds, they are in no hurry to get out of the way if you walk or even drive past them. In many cases, they will straight up hold their ground unless you go around them. And in some more severe cases – they will get AGGRESSIVE and even attack.

A now famous example of this occurred not too far from my office buildings. It was captured on video, posted to youTube, and eventually made rounds of “funniest video” type of TV shows. Check it out:

A few observations:

  • This is pretty damn funny to watch, however I can emphasize with the poor guy being attacked. It’s off-putting to be close to a goose when it’s angry and hissing – it must be terrifying to be attacked by one.
  • The first voice you hear at the start of the video sounds soooooooooooooooooooooo Canadian
  • Clearly this wasn’t the first person this goose attacked. You can tell by the pre- chatter and laughter from the people filming that they were anticipating this. The owner of the bag the goose is guarding was likely attacked earlier – hence why the bag is there and hence why there’s a group of people watching / filming.
  • Part of me thinks the people filming should have went down there and helped the girl instead of watching and giggling, but let’s be real – the creation of this video generated more greater good than retrieving the bag would have.
  • I wonder what the hell is in that bag that the goose finds so appealing / wants to protect? Has to be food, right?
  • The way the goose is hanging out in that paved circle kind of remind me of a UFC fighter getting ready for a fight in the octagon
  • The man chooses an interesting self-defense stance, rolling up his paper and flailing it at the goose. Not sure if the “fly-swatting” method was the way to go here. I may have went straight to the heavy bag…although if that had an expensive computer in there, I can’t fault him.
  • Ultimately he did fight the goose off long enough to grab the bag and give it to the girl – what a hero!
  • Next, he gives the girl the bag and he’s somewhat happy it’s over, but he keeps looking over his shoulder to make sure he’s safe as he walks away.
  • That leads to the funniest part of the video – saving the best for last…
  • Just as he stops looking back, the goose goes into kamikaze mode and rushes him like a bull, but the man answers with a KICK! This leaves the goose in its track. Man wins by decision.

What a classic Canadian battle.